随想

（一）

雪花飘，
眼前一片茫然，
前途一片迷惘，
寻寻觅觅，想来想去，
脑里得不出个所以然，
心中不禁凄凄然，
你叫我该怎么办？


（二）

笔记，是一种痕迹，
是一种留在纸上的痕迹，
留下了生活上的轨迹，
心情的遗迹。。。。。。


（三）

乌鸦，
他人看你，你是只乌鸦，
我看你，你却是只小鸟，
在高空中飞翔自如的小鸟，
乌黑的，呀呀叫的，一只小鸟！
没有美丽的彩裳，只有乌黑的外套，
没有夜莺悦耳的鸣唱，
只有呀呀刺耳的叫声，
最真实，也不修饰的，
始终是只会飞，飞得起的小鸟！

SHe IS A MUDERESS

She is a murderess. She has murdered a man. A man she used to love passionately. A man she has dedicated everything but her love for him ended up as a murder on her life. Her life would have been happier if the man hadn’t bumped into her……

She used to be a girl who was shy and quiet. She was born with a face which was unpleasant to look at. She was plump and was not attractive at all. It was all because of her ugly out look that made her an introvert. She had been a loner all her life before she picked up with the man. One would only see her lone figure without any companions all the times trudging through the crowd or sitting in the library reading religiously.

Reading was the most wonderful thing of her life. She loved reading. That was the reason why she chose to work in a library. Everyday, she would bury herself in books and that used to be her happiest time. While reading, she would forget the coldness of the outside world. Although she had become inured to the coldness of the world, but deep down she was actually longing for love.

He appeared in her life in a hot afternoon. He seemed to be an extrovert who was the total opposite of her. He was not tall; was not very good looking but she found him very attractive especially his exuberance which had enlivened her boring and lonely life. For the first time in her life, she opened up her heart to a stranger; and also he was the first intruder of her life. His kindness and warmth had melted her coldness away. Slowly, he had become the focus of her every thought. Everything became pointless that did not have something to do with him. She loved him more than anything.

Actually, she knew so little about him, and all of those were good. He was attractive, he was caring, he was lovely and he was everything. But still she knew so little about him. She filled the gaps in her knowledge with imaginations and assumptions, and all of them were good and attractive. Her love for him blinded her to his hypocrisy.

He was actually a swindler. A swindler had neither true sentiments nor sincere love; a swindler who just wanted to swindle all her means by his hypocrisy. Everything he had done for her was intentional and was as a means to an end of her wealth. She was deeply hypnotized by his gentle cares which no one had given to her before.

After his achievement of his aim, he disappeared without a word. His absence from her life didn’t make her think of him or love him any less. Instead, he still filled her every moment. She was looking for him everywhere that they used to be but had seen no trace of him. People told her about his hypocrisy but she tried as hard as she could to drown the truth of reality out of her life.

It was until one hot afternoon, as hot as the afternoon of their acquaintance. As usual, after his disappearance, she was looking around for his trace in the streets with his only photograph in her hand.

Just as she was walking along one of the streets as her usual routine, she pick out his red colour Honda City (which she had bought for him when they were together) from rolls of cars parking at the road side. She was intensely excited and started looking around for him.

For hours she had been running up and down the street to search for him until the moon began to crawl up into the sky, she finally saw his familiar silhouette standing in the park where they used to spend their nights together talking to each other. She was so happy that she shouted out his name as she was running towards him.

He was surprised and panic to see her in the first place. Then, he quickly gave her the cold shoulder and pretended no to know her. She was shocked and upset. Soon, she realized that there was a lady standing close beside him and he was holding her wrist. He even purposely kissed the lady. The shock and sadness started to turn to anger. From that moment; she started to understand everything he had done to her was intentionally. She couldn’t stand the truth of being deceived for she had loved him religiously. Even after his sudden disappearance she had been looking at his photograph zillions times trying to pick up the pieces but her life was completely shattered without him.

As he was scolding four letter words at her and was trying to drive her away, unexpectedly she picked up a sharp edges stick from the ground and stabbed his chest severely. He collapsed. The woman he was kissing not long ago screamed through the park and disappeared in the murky night.

When the police arrived at the scene, she was sitting beside his cold death body, mumbling to herself. Her hands which were blue with cold were still holding the stick and his photograph……

Vanished

When I saw her again, I didn’t recognize her at first. “Is she the girl that I used to search for in the train everyday for the past few years?” I was confused as first.

She had changed a lot. Her life must be tough and miserable for these few years after I left London. Although anyone on earth would change as time goes by, but somehow she just looked too different. Her rosy cheeks had gone; her thick blonde hair was no longer there; her slim and shapely figure was gone. The pretty, cheerful and confident girl who always appeared in my mind for the past few years had disappeared. She wasn’t attractive anymore. Standing before me was a clumsy, haggard and fat woman that seemed strange to me. However, I knew it's her. From her same blue eyes and her same rose-bud mouth.

As she walked pass me, she gazed upon me for few seconds and I smiled to her, hoping her to give me the same friendly smile. Instead, a weird and eerie expression appeared on her face.

“She couldn’t recognize me?” I wondered.

“Or she didn’t even notice me at all for the past few years when we were taking the same tube every morning.”

We hadn’t known each other; hadn’t been introduced, that was true. We were just taking the same tube everyday for the past few years when I was working in London. I had been a stranger to her for the past few years- and even then. It was only me alone admiring her and was looking forward to seeing her every morning in the tube. It was only me……

When I pulled myself back from thinking, she had gone. As like five years ago, she was out of my sight swiftly but this time, my prospect for her had vanished.

A JOURNEY TO WORK

He usually got up at the crack of dawn.

That day, as usual, he got up early. He did not get out of his bed immediately but remained a moment in the warmth of his bed, trying to shake off the cobwebs of sleep. It wasn't easy for him to leave the comfortable bed after a deep sleep.

After a cold shower, he was totally wakened up. He made himself a cup of coffee, and sat at the kitchen breakfast bar, glancing through the newspaper as usual.

At 7 o'clock, he left home to the station. It was a windy and cold morning. He was walking with a wind coat on top and his usual working formal suit underneath the coat. the street was not very crowded at that time. Whenever he saw any familiar faces along the street, he gave his nod with a friendly smile. He really enjoyed himself along the ten minutes walk to the station especially in this fresh cold morning. The fresh air made him felt good. Looking at the friendly people on the street and looking up into the deep blue sky, he wondered,"what a wonderful morning."

He worked in London. He took a tube to London everyday. In the train, he saw some of the familiar faces who had been taking the same train with him for the past few years. He was trying to look for her trace in the crowd. The train was congested that it was difficult for him to find what he wanted to find. Finally, in a distance, he found her standing in the corner at the entrance of the train. She was in white long sleeved blouse with her thick blonde curly hair dropping unstylishly on her shoulder. That was all he could see. He was happy and kept on starring at her waiting for her to turn towards his direction and smile at him. She smiled at him once. It was the week before and that was really an unforgettable memories.

Next station, the train stopped. People were rushing in and out of the train. It was a chaos suddenly. After a few minutes later, the train departed again. He was trying to trace for her again but then she disappeared without a trace. He felt disappointed and yet with a grin, he wondered," I might be seeing her again tomorrow. There is always a TOMORROW."

After the train, he took a bus to his office building. In the bus, everyone was a stranger to him. No familiar & friendly faces but stressful and miserable faces. Doing nothing, he stared at the passing scene outside the window.

After fifteen minutes of journey, he reached his destination. He went up to tenth floor. When the lift door opened, he saw one of his colleagues stepping out from the other lift beside. He tried to call her but she was walking too fast rushing into the office.

He went into the office, everybody was busy starring at their screen without noticing his appearance. "What a stressful atmosphere!" He wondered. Quietly, he sat at his desk and started his work........