2 Books 2 Stories But not MINE...

2 Books in my hands;
both that i want to read.

one, a story of a woman;
in my left hand.
the other, a story of a man;
in my right hand.

None of them is my story.

Reading them concurrently,
no mixing up...

2 different stories,
but both are about LOVES.

Love of family; Love of friends; Love of lover;
& Loves of Love;
filling the air with tons of loves;
penetrating into my heart.

久違的微笑

以下是一位友人的一篇文章小品， 写得轻松自然， 阅后心中似乎有一股清流划过，淡淡的薄荷味清心无比，忙碌紧张与寂寞的城市顿时也清爽怡然了，苦烦的世界也美好了,脸上不禁展露出那久违的微笑。。。。。。

收到一則很棒的手機短訊：

再煩，也別忘微笑，
再急，也注意語氣，
再苦，也別忘堅持，
再累，也要愛自己，
再忙，也要放鬆自己。

在慈濟大家庭裡，常會遇到好多法親，剛開始，我嘴角微微上揚，呈現一種機械式的禮貌。

在善的大環境中，人們厚厚的盔甲，層層剝下，展現嬰兒般的純真；因此，我有機會好好練習，一個城市人久違的動作——微笑，從機械式的笑到發自內心的微笑。

一笑，未必解千愁，但這個動作，卻為心靈充電，為佈滿烏雲的天空撥開一個縫隙，讓陽光透進來。

活動時人多，通常不只“一笑”，有時是“十笑”，甚至“百笑”，只因，遇見的每一個人，猶如菩薩，活動場頓時變成大磁場。此時的笑，嘴角往上揚，不但讓對方看到，也感覺到；笑意如餘波，在內心泛起漣漪。

◎　向望後鏡打招呼

平日搭輕快鐵上下班，把月票掛在胸前，路過檢查閘時，只要輕輕拿起來，向檢票員亮一亮相，便可以通行無阻，不須排隊刷電子卡。

如果手上提著東西，不方便出示胸前的月票，檢票員瞄了一下，也輕易讓你通過。

練就了“笑”這功夫後，每當路經輕快鐵站的檢票閘時，堅持提起胸前的月票，要清清楚楚地讓檢票員查閱，讓他知道我在意他的工作。如果他剛巧抬頭望我，那趕緊送上滿是笑意的臉。

有些人會自然地回你一笑，有些則是趕快從僵硬的臉上插上一朵塑膠花似的笑，皮笑，肉還來不及笑。

在巴士上，曾遇見一陌生男士，一臉慈祥，下車前，他突然揮揮手，對我微笑，我楞住了；原來我這麼有魅力，心怦怦地跳。

再遇到時也這樣，但這次可就奇怪啦！他還是向同一個方向揮手微笑，卻不是望著我。難道我會錯意了嗎？仔細地瞄一下四週，原來，有人比我更有魅力——司機菩薩。

司機菩薩沒有回過頭來看，這位男士是向著望後鏡微笑招手，期望司機菩薩能察覺。從此，他成了我的榜樣。如果你也在巴士內會錯意了，向我回禮，這世界便會綻放芬芳。

【心靈桃花園】◎ 吉隆坡．方美琪

The Dangers Of Obesity

In today society, being slim is considered beautiful. Although most of the people are trying hard to obtain the silhouette of Cameron Diaz; although slimming centres and gym workout centres are mushrooming everywhere offering women and men the opportunity to become slimmer; although there are many researchers and introductions of organic and healthy food; unfortunately, obesity still manage to slip into our society where it is not only blossomed into a full-blown epidemic in the western countries, it is also on the rapid rise in Malaysia.

Obesity causes many kinds of fatal illnesses. Besides high blood pressure, stroke and heart disease, diabetes is the most serious and highest rate killer in Malaysia. Many Malaysians are suffering terribly from diabetis especially the obeses who are not only the adults but also the youngsters and even the new born infants. This is one of the disastrous effects of submitting oneself to a steady dose of highly processed food, sweet & high fat food in modern life.

Obesity also causes one's physically exhaustion and clumsiness . The load of tons of fats and meats make them difficult to do the simple routines of movements in their everyday life. They would be having problem to descend a staircase for the fear of being toppled by their own huge belly; or they might also be having difficulties to just walk through a threshold due to the bigger sizes of their gigantic bodies than the sizes of doors. Consequently, physical inconveniences and exhaustions will force them having no other choices but just to sit or to lie down on the sofas or the beds doing nothing as like the disabled people.

Furthermore, chronic weight gain which will wreak the havoc on one waist line would also cause one to have low self esteem. Fattish obese always gives a negative impression to people where always negative comments such as clumsy, stupid, ugly and so on are used to relate and describe the obese. Obese would also easily become the laughing-stock of those immoral people. Moreover, the negative impression of clumsiness and not productivity have been the barriers of the obese to their success. Hence, besides physically exhaustion, they also suffer mentally and psychologically, which would lead to another epidemic social disease, Depression.

There are many factors contributing to the explosion of obesity in Malaysia and the world. Besides the latest discovery of the genes hormonal imbalances and the viruses infections, the first and the main culprint is to be the nutritional disorder of an individual's diet and follows by the unhealthy lifestyle of a individuals where the expenditure of energy and dietary habits are imbalance.

In the meantime, scientist across the globe are racing to discover the reason of the impact of genetics on our body lines, size and shape, Malaysians should be educated and nurtured also that the heathier eating habits and lifestyle could be obtained.

The Encouter With Cockroach

Before that incident, i could proudly regard myself as a brave person. This is simply because I'm not afraid of most of the animals (except bad human beings) even the possibly most hated and eeriest creature in the universe: COCKROACH. I'm not afraid of this brown and small creature for it is not harmful at all but somehow it's actually disgusting in a way. It is dirty, smelly and not welcome.

I used to stay in an apartment with three of my other female house mates cum classmates during my 1st year college time. Besides mouse, cockroaches were the closest thing to wildlife in our neighborhood but we always wanted them out of our habitat especially that all of my house mates are cockroach-phoebes. Every time, whenever they saw their great "enemy"--cockroach (they usually would be more sensitive than i was), they would metamorphose from the nonviolent, refine and gentle ladies into march hare; and they would scream blue murder past me and would hide themselves miles away from the ugly and white-blooded creature. I was always left behind alone to be their rescuer by killing the poor cockroach and always managed to act calmly and steadily when I was facing this harmless creature. It was until that particular night that I found out that I was not as brave as I thought.

That night, four of us were squeezing in the tiny and messy living room of our rented walk-up apartment burning midnight oil rushing to complete our assignments. Everything seemed normal and quiet until a brown, about an inch long youngster cockroach appeared in our living room all out of sudden. It was sitting on the white-tiled floor beside my lovely but short legs, starring at me and hesitate to move further. It took about 10 seconds for all of my cockroach-phobic house mates to be out of joint, screaming while running into their bedrooms.

As usual, me, the rescuer who would always come to their rescue by turning myself into a cold hearted killer. Energetically, as I was approaching this ugly intruder, It suddenly flew high up into the air and moved everywhere in the tiny living room searching for exit to escape. while I was trying to target it, before I could scream, I felt something was moving at my back underneath my T-shirt. Logic couldn't explain the shiver I felt in my spine, the primal desire I had to do was to scream out loud and to get it out of my cloth. it was the smelly and disgusting cockroach, I realized. This astonished me and I was reacting vehemently, jumping up and down while screaming, shaking my body and my cloth violently; desperately trying to shake it off me.

I could not recall how long I had been shaking , jumping and screaming, finally it dropped out of my clothes. The minute it was out on the floor, I used my bare foot to turn it over; I was happy to see it's legs flailed; it was twitching. twitching until I tamped hard on it. The bug's crackle and it's smooth exoskeleton was caved in. It's disgusting and sticky white blood was spreading out.

It was dead. Once again I had become the heroin although I had been acting like a buffoon in that battle.

随记(一)

(一)

* 一个人逃避寂寞,两个人渴望自由......*

--庾澄庆的歌 (歌名忘了....)--

(二)

*世界上最遥远的距离,不是两个人相隔天涯海角;而是你我相对,却也不知道...我爱你......*

--张小娴--

(三)

*世界上最远最远的地方在哪里?天涯吗?海角吗?南极北极吗?并不是,因为世界上最远的地方就是那到达不到的地方;而这世界上应该没有去不到的地方吧!*
--三毛--

(四)

*每个人的心目中都有自己所设定的“窗”，透过这个“窗”而看到自己，看到别人如何看自己，也看到自己如何看别人--可是这个“窗”所看到的，全都是“自己"所设计的,并不一定是事实!*

--报章某篇文章--

(五)

*你的眼睛,有时看我,有时看天边的云;当你看着我时,我却觉得你是在看云!*

--顾城之诗--

随想(三)

(一) 经历

一切经历会成为我的根据点;
一切的经历会成为我往后生活上的养份;
一切的经历会改变以往的我造就现在的我......

(二) 坦白

坦白是好的,
坦白会使一切事情简化,
坦白却非常难实行,
坦白是需要勇气与条件的,
而其实坦白就是忠于自己!

(三) 主动

做主动, 不容易,
可若不主动,往往他人也被动,
如此这般,时机将白白溜走化成烟,
故,
还是主动抓紧时机吧!

(四) 犹豫

犹豫, 是因为某种原因,
原因是欲望所造成的.
犹豫,是因为贪心的欲望,
鱼与熊掌都想并得,
但人往往会在犹豫不定之时而失去,
可是却又怕于仓促间而下错决定.
唉......
原来犹豫与矛盾是并存的!

随想(二)

(一)

*失望是因为当初的期望,而且是一厢情愿的期望......*

(二)

*我们人生活在这个现实的社会中,必定会有两个"我":一个是永远被我们收藏于心里, 也从不轻易向外泄露的"我"; 另一个却是为了生活环境与他人而形成的"我"......*

(三)

*暗恋,就像一只野狗,卑微的等待有心人来施舍爱心......*

(四)

*当初你一味儿想逃避与放弃的; 也许会是现在的你所想要与不愿舍弃的......*

(五)

*生活得麻木了,一切的事情都已变得理所当然的了:生老病死与喜怒哀乐,都麻木 了......可悲......*

随想

（一）

雪花飘，
眼前一片茫然，
前途一片迷惘，
寻寻觅觅，想来想去，
脑里得不出个所以然，
心中不禁凄凄然，
你叫我该怎么办？


（二）

笔记，是一种痕迹，
是一种留在纸上的痕迹，
留下了生活上的轨迹，
心情的遗迹。。。。。。


（三）

乌鸦，
他人看你，你是只乌鸦，
我看你，你却是只小鸟，
在高空中飞翔自如的小鸟，
乌黑的，呀呀叫的，一只小鸟！
没有美丽的彩裳，只有乌黑的外套，
没有夜莺悦耳的鸣唱，
只有呀呀刺耳的叫声，
最真实，也不修饰的，
始终是只会飞，飞得起的小鸟！

SHe IS A MUDERESS

She is a murderess. She has murdered a man. A man she used to love passionately. A man she has dedicated everything but her love for him ended up as a murder on her life. Her life would have been happier if the man hadn’t bumped into her……

She used to be a girl who was shy and quiet. She was born with a face which was unpleasant to look at. She was plump and was not attractive at all. It was all because of her ugly out look that made her an introvert. She had been a loner all her life before she picked up with the man. One would only see her lone figure without any companions all the times trudging through the crowd or sitting in the library reading religiously.

Reading was the most wonderful thing of her life. She loved reading. That was the reason why she chose to work in a library. Everyday, she would bury herself in books and that used to be her happiest time. While reading, she would forget the coldness of the outside world. Although she had become inured to the coldness of the world, but deep down she was actually longing for love.

He appeared in her life in a hot afternoon. He seemed to be an extrovert who was the total opposite of her. He was not tall; was not very good looking but she found him very attractive especially his exuberance which had enlivened her boring and lonely life. For the first time in her life, she opened up her heart to a stranger; and also he was the first intruder of her life. His kindness and warmth had melted her coldness away. Slowly, he had become the focus of her every thought. Everything became pointless that did not have something to do with him. She loved him more than anything.

Actually, she knew so little about him, and all of those were good. He was attractive, he was caring, he was lovely and he was everything. But still she knew so little about him. She filled the gaps in her knowledge with imaginations and assumptions, and all of them were good and attractive. Her love for him blinded her to his hypocrisy.

He was actually a swindler. A swindler had neither true sentiments nor sincere love; a swindler who just wanted to swindle all her means by his hypocrisy. Everything he had done for her was intentional and was as a means to an end of her wealth. She was deeply hypnotized by his gentle cares which no one had given to her before.

After his achievement of his aim, he disappeared without a word. His absence from her life didn’t make her think of him or love him any less. Instead, he still filled her every moment. She was looking for him everywhere that they used to be but had seen no trace of him. People told her about his hypocrisy but she tried as hard as she could to drown the truth of reality out of her life.

It was until one hot afternoon, as hot as the afternoon of their acquaintance. As usual, after his disappearance, she was looking around for his trace in the streets with his only photograph in her hand.

Just as she was walking along one of the streets as her usual routine, she pick out his red colour Honda City (which she had bought for him when they were together) from rolls of cars parking at the road side. She was intensely excited and started looking around for him.

For hours she had been running up and down the street to search for him until the moon began to crawl up into the sky, she finally saw his familiar silhouette standing in the park where they used to spend their nights together talking to each other. She was so happy that she shouted out his name as she was running towards him.

He was surprised and panic to see her in the first place. Then, he quickly gave her the cold shoulder and pretended no to know her. She was shocked and upset. Soon, she realized that there was a lady standing close beside him and he was holding her wrist. He even purposely kissed the lady. The shock and sadness started to turn to anger. From that moment; she started to understand everything he had done to her was intentionally. She couldn’t stand the truth of being deceived for she had loved him religiously. Even after his sudden disappearance she had been looking at his photograph zillions times trying to pick up the pieces but her life was completely shattered without him.

As he was scolding four letter words at her and was trying to drive her away, unexpectedly she picked up a sharp edges stick from the ground and stabbed his chest severely. He collapsed. The woman he was kissing not long ago screamed through the park and disappeared in the murky night.

When the police arrived at the scene, she was sitting beside his cold death body, mumbling to herself. Her hands which were blue with cold were still holding the stick and his photograph……

Vanished

When I saw her again, I didn’t recognize her at first. “Is she the girl that I used to search for in the train everyday for the past few years?” I was confused as first.

She had changed a lot. Her life must be tough and miserable for these few years after I left London. Although anyone on earth would change as time goes by, but somehow she just looked too different. Her rosy cheeks had gone; her thick blonde hair was no longer there; her slim and shapely figure was gone. The pretty, cheerful and confident girl who always appeared in my mind for the past few years had disappeared. She wasn’t attractive anymore. Standing before me was a clumsy, haggard and fat woman that seemed strange to me. However, I knew it's her. From her same blue eyes and her same rose-bud mouth.

As she walked pass me, she gazed upon me for few seconds and I smiled to her, hoping her to give me the same friendly smile. Instead, a weird and eerie expression appeared on her face.

“She couldn’t recognize me?” I wondered.

“Or she didn’t even notice me at all for the past few years when we were taking the same tube every morning.”

We hadn’t known each other; hadn’t been introduced, that was true. We were just taking the same tube everyday for the past few years when I was working in London. I had been a stranger to her for the past few years- and even then. It was only me alone admiring her and was looking forward to seeing her every morning in the tube. It was only me……

When I pulled myself back from thinking, she had gone. As like five years ago, she was out of my sight swiftly but this time, my prospect for her had vanished.

A JOURNEY TO WORK

He usually got up at the crack of dawn.

That day, as usual, he got up early. He did not get out of his bed immediately but remained a moment in the warmth of his bed, trying to shake off the cobwebs of sleep. It wasn't easy for him to leave the comfortable bed after a deep sleep.

After a cold shower, he was totally wakened up. He made himself a cup of coffee, and sat at the kitchen breakfast bar, glancing through the newspaper as usual.

At 7 o'clock, he left home to the station. It was a windy and cold morning. He was walking with a wind coat on top and his usual working formal suit underneath the coat. the street was not very crowded at that time. Whenever he saw any familiar faces along the street, he gave his nod with a friendly smile. He really enjoyed himself along the ten minutes walk to the station especially in this fresh cold morning. The fresh air made him felt good. Looking at the friendly people on the street and looking up into the deep blue sky, he wondered,"what a wonderful morning."

He worked in London. He took a tube to London everyday. In the train, he saw some of the familiar faces who had been taking the same train with him for the past few years. He was trying to look for her trace in the crowd. The train was congested that it was difficult for him to find what he wanted to find. Finally, in a distance, he found her standing in the corner at the entrance of the train. She was in white long sleeved blouse with her thick blonde curly hair dropping unstylishly on her shoulder. That was all he could see. He was happy and kept on starring at her waiting for her to turn towards his direction and smile at him. She smiled at him once. It was the week before and that was really an unforgettable memories.

Next station, the train stopped. People were rushing in and out of the train. It was a chaos suddenly. After a few minutes later, the train departed again. He was trying to trace for her again but then she disappeared without a trace. He felt disappointed and yet with a grin, he wondered," I might be seeing her again tomorrow. There is always a TOMORROW."

After the train, he took a bus to his office building. In the bus, everyone was a stranger to him. No familiar & friendly faces but stressful and miserable faces. Doing nothing, he stared at the passing scene outside the window.

After fifteen minutes of journey, he reached his destination. He went up to tenth floor. When the lift door opened, he saw one of his colleagues stepping out from the other lift beside. He tried to call her but she was walking too fast rushing into the office.

He went into the office, everybody was busy starring at their screen without noticing his appearance. "What a stressful atmosphere!" He wondered. Quietly, he sat at his desk and started his work........

给十年后的我

最近听了一首歌。。。。喜欢其词意：

这十年来做过的事能令你无悔吗？骄傲吗？那时候你所想信的事没有被动摇吗？对象和缘份已出现成就还算不赖吗？旅途上你增添经历又有让棱角消失吗？软弱吗？你成熟了不会失去格调吧？当初坚持还在吗？刀锋不会磨钝了吧？老练吗？你情愿变得聪明而不冲动吗？但变成步步停下三思会累吗？快乐吗？你还是记得你跟我约定吧？区区几场成败里应该不至麻木了吧？快乐吗？你忘掉理想只能忘于生活吗？别太迟又十年后才想“快乐吗？”。

--《给十年后的我〉---蒒凯琪

回雄书

布洛格。。。ＦＩＮＡＬＬＹ。。。HERE I AM。。。

步你的“后尘”。。。来到了这里。

首趟的中国之旅已不知觉的过了大概四个月。。。。。。与你有着相同的感觉。。。怀念着那自由自在的日子。。。。以过客的身份穿梭于那广大的大陆。。。。。快乐无比， 乐趣无穷。

听说下一次我们将朝新疆出发，是吗？